Senior Day (And Senioritis)

It’s been awhile. Anyways, for my high school, graduation is right around the corner. (Literally, it’s tomorrow.) And though I’m a junior, and not graduating, I’m becoming a senior. Which means it’ll be my last year as a high school student. Kind of a crazy thought. Now, you might be wondering what all that has to do with anything. Well, this senior class has been my favorite classes, and the class I’ve grown the closest to out of all my years at school. So, I’ve dedicated this post to listing each one of them and listing off someway they’re special or have impacted me. Some I know better than others, but all together they really sort of made me into the person I am today. The school I attend is extremely small in comparison to most schools, so the reason I can list all the seniors, is because we have a small number in the class (Though, it’s a large class for our standards). Anyways, enough explaining, onto the people.

Jessica, I know that you are for sure not disappearing on me anytime soon, but still. You’re one of my best friends ever, and we’ve both gone through a lot with the other around to help. All your random hilariousness will never be matched or forgotten. I know I’ll always be able to be myself, and be crazy and just laugh away life with you around. Thank you so much for being able to support me in the little things. It means more than you might think. No matter what happens, I’ll always remember you, and you better freakin’ keep in contact ya freakin’ goon. Keep doing amazing things for Christ, He’ll take you to some crazy but wonderful places. Don’t stop being yourself and being able to laugh. Also, don’t stop eating. There’s so much food to eat. Italian life for life.

Danny, I remember the first day you came to school, and when I heard you were a writer. I got pretty excited, and when I found out how awesome you were too, that just made me happier. Keep writing, being awesome, and making crazy jokes. Always keep seeking out your dreams, and don’t grow old. Also, don’t be afraid to share your stories with the world. You’re awesome man.

Ana, it’s great to know someone else shares my love for all things Doctor Who and Sherlock. Also, your snarky comments and love for writing (stories), are greatly appreciated. Keep writing and..commenting? Don’t stop being yourself and loving the things you love. It’s awesome.

Braton, you’re a punk man. But in a good way. Love you dude. You’ve helped me find a love for others that I didn’t have before. You’re enthusiasm and love for pretty much everything is brilliant and has impacted me more than you know. Even though your hugs and bites are kinda really weird, it’s all good. Keep being confident, bold and loving on people with all you got for Christ. It’s going to impact people.

Adam, keep encouraging people and being funny. It’s some really good dang traits that have made my days a lot better. Also, keep singing dude. You have a fantastic voice, don’t be afraid to let others hear it. Be confident in what you want to do and do something awesome out there. It was awesome having you as a member on the baseball team, keep it real. Is that still a normal saying? I don’t even know.

Jack, keep leading and putting yourself out there. You’ve definitely impacted me in the way you’re willing to defend what you believe or think is right, no matter what it is. Even if it’s which way to put on a belt. You’re confidence is great, and you definitely are gonna be a great leader out there. Keep being a genius and doing what you’re called to do. Lead people towards Christ with your attitude, confidence and love.

Nathan, you’ve made some of my days bearable simply by stating in your tone of voice how unbearable some days are. You’re humor and attitude towards people is absolutely hilarious and it brightens my day all the time. High school definitely won’t be the same without you there to make sarcastic conversation with. Also, you’re a phenomenal singer, and are the backbone to the tenors. It’ll be really tough without you. Anyways, it’s been great to be able to hang out some more as the school year ends. Don’t lose that humor ever, and don’t forget that sometimes us weirdos don’t have it all together, but we still love you, and you’re a part of the family. If that makes any sense. You get the point.

David, you’re pretty much a boss. You’re strange philosophical random points that don’t always make sense have always baffled and confused me. Which is good in a way. You make sure you think the thoughts no one else does. Your hard work can be seen by your dedication to sports like football and yet still being super interested in things like robotics and scouts and doing good in school.  That kind of hard work is brilliant, so don’t lose it. You’ll go some pretty sweet places.

Daniel F., It’s the Freeman! Anyways, Daniel, it’s been great to have you next to my math class at SF. I’ve greatly appreciated our random small rants there about school, life, and your sweet bow. Your creations in drawings and movies are phenomenal, I for sure look forward to seeing some of your stuff in the days to come. You have some awesome imagination, and so be sure to never waste it. It’s wonderful, and I wish I had that much imagination. Use that gift wisely, I’m sure you will. You’re awesome.

Daniel B., Oohhhh Daniel.  Dan the Man, despite not being able to get to know you very well, since you often keep to yourself, you’re pretty much a genius. And keeping to yourself isn’t a bad thing either, it’s kind of better to be that way than in everyone’s face. Anyways, your quips are hilarious, and you’re also pretty much a genius. You’re goin’ places kid. Don’t forget it.

Taylor A., You’re pretty much the coolest kid. It was always nice and comforting to me to know that I wasn’t the only one who was generally quiet. (Though I sort of stopped being generally quiet, that’s my Italian genes there.) You can always make an atmosphere seem calm and cool, and it was an honor to be able to talk to you occasionally. Also, you’re Batman, so there’s not much else to say there. Keep saving people’s lives.

Clint, Oh my word. Clint, you’ve easily been one of the most influential people in my life at high school these past couple of years. It’s hard for me to even describe it. The way you handle music, life, relationships with people, and how you’re able to just have Christ’s love shine through you is something amazing. God is going to use you in ways we can only imagine man.  Your voice and talents are an amazing gift that I wish I had like you do. It’s going to be really hard to see you leave, but I know it’ll be great for those that you’re going to be with. I’m going to miss you man. You’ll do great.

Jamison, mister president. Honestly, I’ve always sort of thought you were a punk. But I’ve realized throughout the years that you’re much more than that. You’re a leader, who can be responsible and is confident in everything he does. You’ve taught me that no matter how serious and important something is, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, or that you can’t make some crazy joke. Despite almost always having something to say, you take responsibility for your actions and it’s impactful. You led the baseball team well, and the senior class. Keep having fun and leading man. You’re pretty legit.

Kameron, Oh Kam. You’re the reason I started to play baseball, and though it was a lot of work, I’m glad you got me into it. It was a lot of fun, and I made tons of memories for it. So thank you. Also, you’re awesome and always up for a laugh. Keep being a fantastic friend to everyone you meet, and loving those around you. Though you might not always think you’re leading, you certainly are. So keep leading those under you by your example and attitude.

Jenny, I hardly know you at all, but that’s probably mostly my fault for being a bit of a recluse. However, I know that you’re always joyful and ready with a smile on your face. It seems like you’re always open for encouraging people and that your joy and laughter is really contagious. Don’t ever stop smiling and looking at the good things in life. We all need some really good optimism in our lives.

Taylor H, I also don’t really know you that well. Which I feel kind of bad about, since my brother knew you decently well. Again, that’s just me being a recluse. Anyways, you’re always open to crazy jokes and just having fun. Your laughter is contagious and great. All I gotta say is; keep being a zebra. Nobody will hunt you down. I promise. I think.

Ben, even though you probably won’t read this, you’re hilarious and talented. It might seem like everyone else around you is a bit crazy, (we kind of are, but that’s besides the point), but you’re able to put some sense into things and still make the simplest things hilarious. Keep being yourself and don’t worry about what others think. Keep using that mind of yours and the imagination you’ve been given. You got this Ben.

Sarah, I never really got a chance to tell you, but I really love horses. Yeah. Used to ride them when I got a chance at my parents’ friend’s house, and went trail riding some with my family friend. And though I don’t know nearly as much as you do about them, I know they’re phenomenal. I also wish I got to know you a bit better, but I know that you’re full of plenty of talent and that you’ll succeed at pretty much whatever you want to do. I’d definitely trust you with my horses if I had any. You can also handle those techies like no one else. You’re going to do great out there.

Ellie, you’re fantastic. Your little encouragements and bursts of happiness are phenomenal and uplifting like you wouldn’t believe. Keep being yourself, and I really appreciate your comments, especially when in a car while I’m being antisocial. There’s nothing quite like your smile and love for everyone you meet. It’s outstanding and impacting. Always love others like you do, and just displaying Christ’s love for everyone so openly. It’s a wonderful gift and trait to have. The people out there need you to share it.

Jake, you’re a goon. But a good goon. You have a really friendly sort of attitude, and you’re always up for joking around. Not to mention you’re a phenomenal athlete, and you can for sure go some crazy awesome places using that athleticism. You’ll be great out there. Keep having fun and being willing to help others out.

Timothy, you’ve changed a lot over the years. But it’s been a good change. You’ve been given a plethora of gifts, like your voice and academic excellence, and I know they’ll be put to good use. You got a head on your shoulders, but you’re also able to enjoy the little things, have a sense of humor, and be up for having fun. Keep singing, playing Starcraft II, and bothering Nathan’s life as much as you can. Mwhaha. It’s been great to have you as part of the “geek squad” here, if you can call it that. It won’t be the same without you.

Sean, I also didn’t really get to know you very well, besides the few times I got to eat lunch with you guys. I can tell though that you’re excellent at planning and leading events. You’ve got plenty of good ideas that are sure to come to the light some day. At the same time, you’re hilarious and you and your brother are kind of even more hilarious together.

Andrew, it’s been fantastic to get to know you more this school year. I can’t believe it took me this long to see how awesome you are. Our game conversations and news conversations in Economics and Government kept me awake and actually interested in things that early in the morning. I’m not sure how I would’ve handled that class without you. You’re not only smart, but you’ve got wisdom, and that’s even more important. Not to mention you have a dedication for things that I only wish I had. Together, those two traits are going to take you great places. You’re awesome, I’m glad I got to know you, and it won’t be the same here without you. Also, dirty white boyz all the way. (That’s a sort of inside joke. In case you couldn’t tell.)

Christian, though I didn’t really get to know you very well, you seem like a guy that really is set on chasing after his dream. And that’s encouraging. Keep chasing that dream. Also, your always up for a joke and saying something unexpected. Don’t worry about those trying to crush your dream. Keep loving people and being a pretty cool dude.

Pheeewww. That’s a lot. But that’s everyone. If you expected more, I’m sorry, I’m kind of tired, so I started to trail off there for a bit. Anyways, as I finish this, I realize I’m going to soon be a senior like these students. And it’ll be phenomenal, terrifying, wonderful, depressing, but overall an experience I won’t ever forget. And for that, I’m looking forward to it. It’s a shame I won’t get to share it with these students that are leaving, but that just means there will be new people for me to reach out to and have impact my life. I’m looking forward to it. However, even today I’m finding myself with terrible senioritis. It’s going to be a long year.

 

With Honesty and Sincerity,

Josiah Serravalle.

Sometimes, I Pull Myself Apart.

Figuratively, don’t worry. I’m not that crazy. (I’m referring to the title of this post.)

I recently returned from my Spring Break in Tennessee, where I had one of the best weeks of my entire life. Simple because, back home where I am now, I’ve been pulling myself apart. And this was the break I really, really needed.

Some snow while hiking up a mountain in Tennessee. We pretty much hiked everyday. It was fantastic.

I tend to do this a lot, and I’ve found myself pushing myself to the limit this year. Perhaps I’m simply not used to doing a numerous amount of activities, due to the fact that before last year, I pretty much did high school and baseball, and that was it. Or I really am simply trying to do too much. Either way, it’s been hard to concentrate on any one thing for me recently. I’ve been trying to balance my high school and college classes, which includes finding transportation between these, baseball, my music that I enjoy creating and working on, my writing (which I also find important to me), my activities with my church (especially with my youth group, which I’m heavily involved in), drama performances that I’m in at my church and school, and up until baseball season started I had a job to manage, and of course trying to spend as much time as I can with my family and friends. The latter I’ve been sort of prioritizing, simply because a good amount of my friends are college students, and are leaving town rather soon. As a result, I’ve found myself wanting to spend a good deal of the little free time I have with them. But that’s besides the point, and will probably be in a whole other rant all together. The point is I have a lot going on, and this spring break has been miraculous.

I feel like there’s a certain part of me that feels drawn to this kind of “do everything you can” though, despite the stress I often receive from that kind of mentality. I think the majority of it comes from my father, who is constantly doing something, and when he isn’t, he goes a bit crazy. He’s a very productive guy (though not the cleanest, but that’s besides the point), and I find myself growing into that sort of cycle. I get this sort of restlessness if I’m not doing something productive, or interesting, or something I enjoy especially (like writing). Though this can really get stuff done, it can also really be obnoxious. As a result of this, I find myself trying to do everything I can whenever I have time. And it’ll kill me if I have 15 minutes between something and I’m stuck unable to accomplish anything in that particular amount of time before I leave for whatever I’m doing. (For some reason, it’s always 15 minutes. There’s just nothing you can do in 15 minutes. It’s either too short or too long of a time. Anyways.)

The strange thing is there’s another part of me that’s exceedingly laid back and calm, and hates doing things productive constantly. And I’ve found if I don’t have at least one day where I’m not doing a whole lot, I go a bit crazy and start stressing out an unusual and unhealthy amount, as this side of me gets restless and starts trying to break through the other part of me. On the other hand, if I don’t do anything for too long, my busy part of me makes me extremely restless and I’ll do the stupidest things.

That is why I say I often pull myself apart. If I let either side of me become to prominent, the other attempts to rip through. And so I find myself balancing each side in a scary game of tight-rope.

As a consequence from always wanting to do anything I can, I also find myself becoming a jack of all trades kind of guy, but a master of none, as the saying goes. I can skateboard (though not really well, but decently), play baseball on a team, get pretty good grades (honestly I don’t know how sometimes), write stories, poems, rants and essays rather well, play guitar, ukulele and bass (and sort of sing), play somewhat competitively at video games (for some reason), act and help with drama performances, and I’m still able to get along with most people from a large majority of groups/clicks (clicks? Cliks? whatever), and occasionally talk to a group of people somewhat intellectually (for someone of my age at least).

Now before you start complaining about me being ungrateful and boasting, I’m pointing this all out for a reason.

I’m not ungrateful at all, in fact I love the fact God’s given me the ability to try and participate in so many different things, but at the same time, I’m always left a bit disappointed that I can’t, and probably won’t ever be as good as someone who focuses more on one of those particular things. I’m simply saying that though I’ve been given the opportunity to do all that, I still won’t ever be as good as you are with your gift.

You’ve been given a gift, and it’s very particular to you. And though I might be alright at all those things, I’ll never have that same gift just like you do. And that, in my opinion, is much greater than being okay at a lot of things.

You’re brilliant. And fantastic. And talented. Just thought you should know.

Anyways, since most people can pick a single thing they seriously enjoy and are wonderful at and stick with it, they soon become masters of that subject. However, I’m left trying to do everything, and as a result, I can become decent at most, but never a master like these people. Though I’m sure I have a specific gift I might be especially good at above the others that I enjoy particularly, I haven’t really discovered it officially. I haven’t especially decided upon something yet. Call it attention deficit if you want. I find myself at a loss as to what I want to do with my life due to this, and even though I could potentially go several directions, I don’t want to do anything mediocre with my life. And so my internal struggle continues, as I pray and seek guidance from the One who provides such guidance.

Though I often stress out, get very little sleep, get a bit grouchy about it at times, and occasionally do one thing a bit halfheartedly, I don’t think I can imagine myself going about this year any other way. Simply because I was made this way, and though it occasionally bothers me like it did when I started this rant, at the end of the day, I don’t entirely mind.

Anyways, that’s the entirety of my rant I believe.

You’re brilliant,

Josiah Serravalle.